“Have confidence in the Providence that so far has never failed us. The way is not yet clear. Grope along slowly.” -Saint Mother Theodore Guerin
Please be kind and thoughtful in response to this post. I am going to share something that at first I wasn’t too keen on being open about. After a lot of thinking about it, I think in the long run it is best for me to be completely transparent about the process I have begun, or actually began six months ago, to improve my own health.
I grew up a very active girl, in just about every dance class you can name, always on the go and rarely stopping for breaks. When I was sixteen I found out that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). What that meant is that I would be battling my hormones for the rest of my life for things, like losing weight or having children.
Unfortunately I also stopped dancing. If I could tell my teenage self one thing it would to never-ever stop dancing. My weight began to increase with each year. And when it came time to have children we did have trouble. We saw doctors, I had surgeries, we took medicines, and we were so very blessed to have our three children.
In the meantime I have made a very concerted effort to become more active and eat healthfully. I have spent years going to classes for ideas on nutrition with PCOS, monitoring calories on MyFitnessPal, dancing away at Zumba or lifting weights at home or even in the office. I am not saying I am consistent (which I know is key), but I will say that I have tried harder than many people ever need to and I have not been extremely successful. Let’s be completely honest, I am extremely overweight. I am not trying to deny the state of my body and readily admit my own culpability in how it got to this point.
The loss of my father, and my mother’s illness has affected me in a few ways. It has caused stress that make it even harder to focus on food and fitness. It has also emphasized to me how important it is to get my own physical condition to a healthier place. I want to be around to see my own grand babies.
When we realized that our new insurance covered bariatric surgery, along with the combination of me already meeting my deductibles, I began the process, got the referrals, have been going to all the appointments and evaluations.
So what am I getting at? This morning I had lap band surgery. What this means is that I have a new tool in my toolbox to assist me on the way to a healthier life. Lap band surgery is not the same as gastric bypass. I will not lose an enormous amount of weight in a small amount of time. I still have to exercise regularly and be aware that there are certain high calorie foods that prevent weight loss. It will help me with consistency in portion control.
If you have an opinion on weight loss surgery or lap band specifically, I respectfully ask that you keep it to yourself. If you think that I think this surgery is some magic pill that will solve all of my problems or take away my struggle, you are wrong. I am well aware of the uphill journey I am continuing with this step.
I appreciate your encouragement. If you are an active person and would like to meet up for a walk or weight lifting or whatever and you are around Spencer, I am excited at the prospect. To all my Zumba buddies – I should be able to dance again in a few weeks. Also, since I am being open about this, I can now express happy frustration at the idea of drinking only fluids for the next few weeks and my horror at the thought of pureed turkey? It will be mashed potatoes and blended pumpkin pie filling for me this Thanksgiving, and I am NOT hosting. All good things, all good things….LOL
It might not seem like a God thing to you, but all of this all feels like an amazing gift from my Provident God. I am starting this new phase of my journey with nervous excitement. So be it!
I apologize for the length, but now that I have made this known, I know my friends and family will be supportive of me. I am so thankful for all of you!