Saturday was my family and friends baby shower. As I posted on Saturday before everyone came, it was at my house and it was snowing!

A few people couldn’t make it because of the weather, but there were just enough people there so that no one had to sit on the floor and everyone could fit around the living room for games!

It was a little stressful having it at my house, and I think had I to do over again I wouldn’t have chosen that, but it was a great time!

The cake was VERY yummy. DH just threw the last few pieces out yesterday because it is too much of a temptation with Gestational Diabetes! It was simple enough – white cake/butter cream icing from Meijer (had a stork on it), but darn that was good!

The games were actually pretty fun. My sister Lisa (the one that came back from Iraq) is always good for keeping people laughing! If she wasn’t here something would have been missing! LOL

The gifts were bright and fun!

Some notable items of the day…the hooter hider! I especially tried to make sure my mom saw this, because she and I had this long discussion about whether breastfeeding in public was acceptable. My mom is a prude. She doesn’t even kiss my dad with an open mouth, and they have been married for almost 47 years! And while I don’t think breastfeeding is anything to be prudish about, I think it is funny that she has all of these notions about it. She had nine kids and didn’t breastfeed a single one. She also tells me she has been watching baby delivery tv shows, but she won’t watch the actual birth because she thinks it is completely inappropriate to show that sort of private thing on tv. It’s a different world than where she came from…she claims it was better when everything was private and somewhat shameful (not her words). I am on the fence…I would definitely prefer not having Viagra commercials on TV.

Anyways…the hooter hider (and my big belly) from my woodsie lil sis Erika (pictures also courtesy of Erika – thanks chica!)….

The diaper bag from my brother and SIL – she let me pick out the pattern from Vera Bradley and I LOVE IT! It has little owls on it….

And the last thing to show (Although, there were many wonderful things and if you are reading this and you were here or sent something THANK YOU SO MUCH for coming and for your wonderful gifts for Z!!!!) is the dollhouse bookcase…I put it together yesterday and got pastel blue, pastel green and white bins to put in it for storage…

It started snowing around 7am and I am hoping that all who can make it arrive safely.

The house is pretty much ready. I didn’t get everything on my list of 45 things done, but it is presentable. I just hope people don’t go snooping through our messy master bath and all my clothes that need organizing in my closet!

I still need to organize little Z’s room a bit so people can check it out.

We moved the dogs crate and the ferret into our room for the day.

I am on the verge of a head cold. I felt it coming yesterday. Now I am all snotty and my head is a bit full. All the dusting and sweeping and de-hairing of carpets and upholstery didn’t help. Having three cats, two double-coated dogs and a ferret makes for a tremendous amount of hair. Perhaps we should have put a warning for any allergic people to take their meds before they enter, because there is no way we would ever be able to get it all up.

My mom, sister and BFF are coming early to help decorate and set up the cake and stuff.

I have to give myself insulin injections after dinner because my sugars are not lowering after that meal as they do on others. I am sure I probably eat more then too, and I could limit my carb intake through that, but I am usually more hungry then so we decided to go with the injections. It seems to be going ok.

My latest fear is that my water will break and I won’t know. It is hard for me to tell – because I don’t know what is normal stuff and what is not normal. So now I am just waiting for something that seems completely out of the ordinary until my next OB appointment on Friday. It is my 36 week appt and I will have an ultrasound and a cervical check. My fear is that what if what I think is normal is not and then I get an infection or something. I just don’t want to be one of those hypochondriac preggers that think something is wrong when it isn’t. I know it is better to err on the side of caution, but then how do I know I am not over thinking it in the first place.

I had my breastfeeding class this past Wednesday. I think I can do it. I know I need to build up more confidence before she comes so that I am 110 percent ready for it. I hope my PCOS doesn’t get in the way, and I hope going back to work doesn’t become too great of a challenge. I think the benefits outweigh the obstacles, but I am a little concerned that it will be too much for me.

This next Wednesday we have our last of all the classes.
And then the week after that we will be full term.

I walk around knowing I am on the verge of a watershed moment in my life. Once the labor begins I will not be the same person. My life will never be the same.

How extraordinary.

“And how!” as Dorothy Gale would say….

I am excited for her, and I am really trying to keep positive about the trip.

I haven’t been able to share a lot with her about our struggles with IF. In fact, I don’t think I have told her at all. She lives a few states away and we seem to have both gotten sucked into our own lives. We email each other every few months or so. When she emailed saying she was pregnant it took me a few weeks to respond. I am sure many infertiles can understand, it is hard for me to hear of someone getting pregnant.

It always reminds me of our failures. We have had three pregnancies in my immediate family since we started TTC. There have been at least 5 kids concieved and born in my small company since we started TTC. Each time it is like a little stab…

Today though, I am glad that I have not told her. I want to celebrate her journey into motherhood and I never ever want her to feel like she should feel bad for me because of her own success. I am happy for her and I can’t wait to meet her little one when it comes. She will be such an amazing mother – I just know it. She is strong, empathetic, intelligent, and amazing.

And when I do get to join her as a mother, I know she will be just as happy for me. Maybe then I will bring our own journey to light – and how it has changed and is still changing my life.