Keep dancing…..(have confidence in Providence)


“Have confidence in the Providence that so far has never failed us. The way is not yet clear. Grope along slowly.” -Saint Mother Theodore Guerin

Please be kind and thoughtful in response to this post. I am going to share something that at first I wasn’t too keen on being open about. After a lot of thinking about it, I think in the long run it is best for me to be completely transparent about the process I have begun, or actually began six months ago, to improve my own health.

I grew up a very active girl, in just about every dance class you can name, always on the go and rarely stopping for breaks. When I was sixteen I found out that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). What that meant is that I would be battling my hormones for the rest of my life for things, like losing weight or having children.

Unfortunately I also stopped dancing. If I could tell my teenage self one thing it would to never-ever stop dancing. My weight began to increase with each year. And when it came time to have children we did have trouble. We saw doctors, I had surgeries, we took medicines, and we were so very blessed to have our three children.

In the meantime I have made a very concerted effort to become more active and eat healthfully. I have spent years going to classes for ideas on nutrition with PCOS, monitoring calories on MyFitnessPal, dancing away at Zumba or lifting weights at home or even in the office. I am not saying I am consistent (which I know is key), but I will say that I have tried harder than many people ever need to and I have not been extremely successful. Let’s be completely honest, I am extremely overweight. I am not trying to deny the state of my body and readily admit my own culpability in how it got to this point.

The loss of my father, and my mother’s illness has affected me in a few ways. It has caused stress that make it even harder to focus on food and fitness. It has also emphasized to me how important it is to get my own physical condition to a healthier place. I want to be around to see my own grand babies.

When we realized that our new insurance covered bariatric surgery, along with the combination of me already meeting my deductibles, I began the process, got the referrals, have been going to all the appointments and evaluations.

So what am I getting at? This morning I had lap band surgery. What this means is that I have a new tool in my toolbox to assist me on the way to a healthier life. Lap band surgery is not the same as gastric bypass. I will not lose an enormous amount of weight in a small amount of time. I still have to exercise regularly and be aware that there are certain high calorie foods that prevent weight loss. It will help me with consistency in portion control.

If you have an opinion on weight loss surgery or lap band specifically, I respectfully ask that you keep it to yourself. If you think that I think this surgery is some magic pill that will solve all of my problems or take away my struggle, you are wrong. I am well aware of the uphill journey I am continuing with this step.

I appreciate your encouragement. If you are an active person and would like to meet up for a walk or weight lifting or whatever and you are around Spencer, I am excited at the prospect. To all my Zumba buddies – I should be able to dance again in a few weeks. Also, since I am being open about this, I can now express happy frustration at the idea of drinking only fluids for the next few weeks and my horror at the thought of pureed turkey? It will be mashed potatoes and blended pumpkin pie filling for me this Thanksgiving, and I am NOT hosting. All good things, all good things….LOL

It might not seem like a God thing to you, but all of this all feels like an amazing gift from my Provident God. I am starting this new phase of my journey with nervous excitement. So be it!

I apologize for the length, but now that I have made this known, I know my friends and family will be supportive of me. I am so thankful for all of you!

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22 comments on “Keep dancing…..(have confidence in Providence)
  1. Maureen Elizabeth says:

    I love you and support you. I know I’m not close but I’ll be dancing with you in spirit! Love you little cousin!😘

  2. Barbara says:

    Good for you I know God is helping you do the right thing and if you need anything from me please let me know I love you so much


  3. Natalie says:

    Wishing you much luck and success!!! You got this!

  4. Jen says:

    Beth, you are amazing! Keep dancing girl. We love your honesty and bravery. Kudos to you for not being afraid to use a new tool. XOXO

  5. Jaime says:

    You will soon be reflecting on this journey in celebration. Way to go!! U got this! Xxoo Jaime

  6. Kellie Johnson says:

    Yayyyy!!! Can’t wait to see you back in Zumba!!!

  7. Teresa Boler says:

    You are going in the right direction for YOU. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I wish you the greatest success in your long journey…but yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Stay focused on that! You can do it…you are an amazing and blessed woman! Call if you need anything….any time. :)

  8. Becky (Smith) Styer says:

    I understand your struggles. I also have pcos and it is a daily battle on my physical and emotional health! Good luck to you Beth and you keep focused and your eyes on God who did provide this wonderful gift to you. Keep blogging, I am sure you feel vulnerable in your writing but do know there are other women out there who can relate to your writings, myself included! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your heart with us all.

  9. Amy Porter says:

    Beth, I am so proud of you, as you should be proud of yourself. You are on the road to a better and healthier you! Congratulations, I am excited to follow your journey!

  10. pcrouch says:

    You are an awesome and beautiful woman and I love when you lead some of the zumba numbers 😊

  11. Peggy says:

    Beth I’m sure this wasn’t an easy decision and won’t be easy but know that you can and will do this. I will keep you in my prayers.

  12. Rory G says:

    Thanks so much for sharing!! I look forward to learning about your journey as well as your opinion of this option. Good luck and God bless!

  13. Rachelle Shelly Bowman says:

    I am so proud of you for your courage and bravery!!! You can do this and I will be saying a prayer for you while you take this journey! I miss seeing u! You are an awesome mom and friend! God bless my friend!!!

  14. Sharon Ammen says:

    Beth–I am super proud of the amazing woman you have become. Strong, resilient, beautiful. All my thoughts and hopes and best wishes are with you! Love–Sharon A.!

  15. Connie Scott says:

    May God bless you sweet lady in your journey! What an exciting opportunity. I view challenges as opportunities. For in AAALLLL things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28, my fav. You’ve got this!

  16. Crystal says:

    Best wishes! Stay strong and be proud of yourself! See you soon at Zumba!

  17. Stacey M says:

    What an amazing story! I worked in a surgery office for a number of years where the bariatric surgeries were offered. I wish you much success in attaining a healthier version of the wonderful Beth we all care about! One day down the road, I hope to hear about you dancing again! Hugs.

  18. Laura says:

    I am blessed to follow you on this journey. You are an unbelievably sweet soul & you deserve to be happy! I hope that this new tool is the key to success & wish nothing but the best in your journey!

  19. Lori Morgan says:

    I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to support you in your walk to be more healthy. I have a friend that had the same procedure done over 10 years ago and you are right it was still a struggle for her at times but it has made a world of difference in her life. I will pray you have the same wonderful results on your journey. I admire your strength Beth.

  20. Natalie Bell says:

    Very awesome Beth. I admirer your strength and courage. I am always proud of you. If I lived in Spencer I could be your walking buddy. You are right in saying that this is a God thing. I love your blog, very well put. I will continue to pray for a speedy recovery.

  21. Lee Lee says:

    I am proud of you, Beth. This journey is about your own future and most importantly, your own health and wellbeing. I love your idea about looking for some 5K’s to walk in and other events to keep the motivation. Keep on, Keepin’ on, Movin’ on! I love you Beth Ann! We got your back!!! You got this!!!!

  22. Shelley McPhee says:

    So proud of you Beth. You are incredibly strong & setting such a great example for your precious kiddos! I look forward to following you on your journey. Thank you for the inspiration!