Tuesday’s class was a great reminder. We have inside us all that we need to know at this point to make our design the best that can be. I was in the group that ripped up our design. And following that class, we literally did get rid of our main concept and attempt to solve our problem from a different angle. I think we are keeping the best parts of what we want to accomplish, while doing a better job at really solving the problem of connecting people’s differences.

It was great to have a break from everything. I had a few days off of work as well, so I made it an extra long weekend. It was filled with baking, family, shopping, a blown tire and IDP meetings/design work. This Thanksgiving I was most thankful for my partner in life, Jason, who puts up with me, supports me in my endeavors, and celebrates life with me.

wrt the blown tire – I was driving to an IDP meeting when my tire completely shredded on Hwy 67 South. I am extremely thankful for four things.

1. It didn’t blow the evening before when we were driving home from Thanksgiving dinner in the rain with the kids in tow.
2. I didn’t lose control of the vehicle possibly causing personal or vehicular damage.
3. For my husband came immediately to help me change the tire and follow me home to get it replaced.
4. To be blessed enough that I can afford new tires without extreme hardship to my family.

I started this week driving to work with a sense that I was going to be happy regardless of what came my way.

A few times I felt the urge to worry or get bogged down with fear or things that were out of my control. When those thoughts came into my head I actually reminded myself about being happy. It was sort of a …’whoa there – hey now – don’t sweat it’….sort of feeling. It was beautiful.

Other great things that happened this week were:

• Two colleagues I have worked with for almost ten years came to visit from Boston. I can count on my hands the number of times I have spent time with them in person, but I have worked, chatted, lived with them everyday for a long time. It is always refreshing just to be in the same location with them.
• I had a great few days with a colleague that came into town from Minnesota for an important project we are working together. It was enlightening and inspiring.
• We gave our presentation on Wednesday. I was really glad to get the critique, and think that the highlights of where we need to strengthen our design were spot on. I am excited to see where we can take it.
• We had our post mortem and grading. I am happy with how we did. I really liked that scoring technique, and I really appreciate our mentor’s (and all of the others) guidance.
• We have a huge amount of work to do for Project 5. I am anxious to get started.

Listening to: You’ve got the love – Florence + the Machine

Sing a song.
Hope a hope.
Dream a dream.
Listen to advice (but only when it feels right.)
SMILE. Laugh. Be Joyful….
And then keep forever in your Heart
what it is that makes you so happy.

I started and re-started this reflection a few times. There are many trade-offs in life. You have to figure out what is most important and make sure that it is given the emphasis in your life that corresponds with how important it is.

I am not going to say that this time is easy. I have many things that are very important to me. And, even if something (ie my family) is more important to me than something else (ie work or class) that doesn’t mean that the thing of lesser importance is unimportant.

I am doing the best that I can with the resources I have available. And somewhere in it all I am trying to enjoy myself too.

On the commute to work this morning I had a moment of piece and enlightenment that came upon me. I decided that I am just going to be happy. I can only control so much. After that I will let things fall where they may and enjoy the ride.

The quote above was from a card given to me by someone who had a great impact on my life. She was an amazing chorale director and professor at my undergraduate college. I visited there this weekend for a special occasion. She passed away a few years ago from pancreatic cancer. I miss her when I go there, but I am so grateful for the lessons she taught me.

Have a good week, and do whatever it is that makes you so happy.

Here are a few things that make me so happy:

A list for the week:

• Expanding and Contracting sort of feels like a manic-depressive episode to me….we get on fire about something – move forward and contract – then expand all over again and the chaos begins….I know (or at least trust my teacher and mentors) it is necessary. I know (or trust) it works. I think we are still learning how to do it, so it will probably become comfortable and less like going from a raging party to a quiet coffee bar and then back to the party again eventually (maybe?)….
• I missed the music composition comparison class due to a sick child. I hated to miss it, but I needed to be elsewhere. I hate it when little people are sick. They can’t tell you their tummy hurts. Snuggling makes it better.
• My team was able to meet with me via web conferencing. I think it went really well as a first try. We are still honing in on our core. We are closer, but not complete. We are better off today than we were Thursday. And Thursday we were better off than Tuesday, etc. Wednesday night therapy was really helpful. We pulled back and re-focused on our people and problem space rather than being all over the place as we were before.
• My son turned six months old. He is long and skinny and extremely adorable. He also enjoys playing the push button xylophone. He is getting his fourth tooth, and also needs snuggling at various points in time. I suppose I would too if I had teeth pressing their way through my gum.
• As a facilitator, I am finding it interesting learning more about what each of our team members needs in order to feel like we are on track or that they understand what our next steps are or what we should do. I don’t mean that I am setting those things at all, but I am always the kind of person that wants to make sure we are on the same page. (My in depth Meyers-Briggs Analysis says that I lead through a mothering/emotional core.) We want to make sure everyone can contribute what they do best to the project because it will make the design the best it can be. How can we each serve the design? How can we do the best that we can with the resources we have available?

Out is Through – Alanis Morrisette

“Every time I’m confused
I think there must be easier ways
Every time our horns are locked on towel throwing
Every time we’re at a loss, we’ve bolted from difficulty
Anytime we’re in stalemate, a final bowing

My tendency to want to hide away feels easier and
The immediacy is picturing another place comforting to go

The only way out is through
The faster we’re in the better
The only way out is through ultimately”