Today is the last day of 2009.

This year has been full of wonder and awe. I don’t think I can do this year justice with a simple re-cap. I will begin working on the Zerker’s Year in Review next week, and I think that will be a better place to really look at all that has happened with the little girl. Yet, I will say that the first half of carrying Charlie have been cherished, even when the Zerker is bouncing on by belly, biting my arm, or pulling my hair. And I feel more connected to what I do for a living than ever before….All of these things are blessings.

I took the GRE this week. I actually didn’t do that bad for only practicing for a few hours the night before. I think I did well enough to get accepted.

Happy New Year to everyone out there!

Our big ultrasound was yesterday.
We are thankful that everything was measuring on time and healthy so far. Of course, nothing is ever completely secure until there is a healthy baby on the outside in May, but so far, so good…..

And the little parasite floating in my belly is sporting a twig and berries!
We are ecstatic.
For some reason, I just had this feeling that the little blobber was a boy. I always referred to him as a he, and I even told Nadie on the way to the US that I didn’t know how I would react if it was a girl – it just didn’t seem right to me.
So here is the little tyke:

We do have the name picked out, and you can guess from the title what the first name is. I will keep the middle name a secret for his birth. It has to do with a very amazing, saintly person.

I still feel huge. The other day at choir practice a woman asked me when I was due. I said May, and she was obviously confused…I think she was expecting February or March. The doc says that I am on schedule and there is nothing to worry about. It is funny to see people’s faces. I might post a belly pic, maybe, but I will just feel even huuuuger…..

In other news, I have to take the GRE next tuesday. I am not looking forward to it. I took it just out of college and did fine. Of course, now they expect it to be a more recent score. I am applying for a master’s program in the fall, and before you can say ‘Crazy!’ I will say that I plan on starting slow with it – one class a semester. I just want to get started so I don’t put it off any longer. Maybe eventually I will get my PHd, but for now I am focusing on a Masters in Informatics (Human Computer Interaction).

The Zerker is getting a mind of her own. Teach the kid to say ‘Baba’ and she starts firing out orders when she wants some food! LOL Also, she is just starting to get interested in baby shows like Sesame street. It is cute to watch her follow along and get excited. She is still not walking, but she is so close. Her new favorite thing is to sit on Papaws lap and play tickle. Mom said that after he was done playing with her she was in the playpen going .oooooooooooooh tickle! and tickling herself. HOW.CUTE!

I am excited to see her on Christmas morning. This is her big present:

I figured it was small enough not to clutter the house, but a good start to an activity table concept.
She has other gifts, but I know she really will have no idea what is going on, and will probably like the wrapping paper better than the toys.

We are off to my Brothers for the annual Christmas Eve Party tomorrow. The Zerker LOVES spending time with her cousins. I am singing with the Choir on Christmas morning and then our little family will spend a quiet day at home.

Merry Christmas to you and yours or whatever holiday or happy day you celebrate!

You know how it feels to dread a specific call all the time? Some days it is worse than others. Some days you don’t even think about it. Then one day it just happens.

That is how it has been with Nadie and his job for this past year. I was always worried he would be calling me to say he was let go. I got the call yesterday.

There are good things about it. I hated seeing him go to work every day when he obviously hated his job. There were a lot of days of walking on egg shells regarding making plans and whether he would have a job. There is something to be said about it just being over with and moving on to something better.

And I know we can make it for a little while at our current place with my income and our savings. I am actually glad that he will be there to stay with the Zerker for a while. And he needs a break. He needs some time to get back into what he really wants to do, rather than just maintaining status quo. We both agree that we don’t want him to just take any job right away, even if it is not a right fit, just to get a job. That will only lead to the same things that have played out over the past few years with his former position.

If we could tweak our lifestyle here and there (which will obviously happen since we lost an income) he might be able to be a stay-at-home-dad for a while. I don’t know what he wants. I think we will just take one day at a time. It so hard to see the person you love struggling. I want him to find the right path, to give him more confidence, and let him shine.

I trust in Providence. It has been the only thing to get me through the entire year of worry. It has been my constant response to Nadie, whenever he expressed his fears of the inevitable. And it will not fail us. No matter what, what really matters is that we are together. We can live with family members if necessary. I don’t think we will. But, if for some reason it came to that, we could do it and we would be ok. There would be good things about it.

I am going to try and get my next appt and Ultrasound moved up a week so that it will occur before the insurance is terminated. We will go on Cobra, but I am sure it will be messy, and I want to make sure that Ultrasound happens. I could go on my work insurance, I know, but the coverage is horrible. In the long run it will save us money paying the Cobra coverage for as long as it is available so we can have that coverage when we have the blobbles. I think they will be ok with me coming in at 19 weeks instead of 20. I hope so. I can see them having an issue because I was just there at 17 weeks. (That appt went great, by the way….)

So here is to new beginnings, and facing fears.