October Musings

This month has gone by very fast.
The Zerker is changing every day. Her top two front teeth finally cut through.

Also, she figured out how to use the Walk portion of her Walk n Ride so that she can push herself across the room:

She is sleeping much better, which tells me she was having ear issues before when she was waking up at all hours of the night. Or maybe it is just that I am used to it now, so it doesn’t seem as often. Last night I actually went into her room and brought her into our room. Partly because I had been up for an hour and I knew she would be waking up just as I was falling asleep, the other aprt was because I just wanted her close. As my friend Jess said, there is only so much time we have to snuggle with her. And pretty soon it will be hard for me to roll over in bed, let alone deal with a little kid kicking me in the stomach. LOL

A few weekends ago we went to the Feast of the Hunter’s Moon in Lafayette, IN. It was extremely muddy, but we had nice time seeing all the old costumes and eating buffalo stew. Nadie got to visit with some of his good friends, so that is always a plus.

The next weekend we had a memorial concert for my college choir director, Sister Sue. It was good to see my friends and have time to grieve with others for a while. There was an alumnae concert and singing with those beautiful voices is always a treat. I miss Sue. It is hard to know that the Zerker will never meet her. It is so unfair.

I got the h1n1 vaccine at my OB.

This week I am 12 weeks pg with the blobbles. It is starting to be more of a reality. And, I am not so nervous about having two young kids anymore, more just excited and ready for these next months to speed up so we can meet a new person.

I have a doctor appointment on Friday. I wish it was Friday. I want this appt to be over with. I am worried things will go bad. I will always worry. I hate infertility. I will never be able to enjoy pregnancy. I will always be worried that things will all fall apart.

I am sure I will post after the appointment. With the Zerker at this appt we couldn’t find the heartbeat with the doppler and they did an ultrasound to check. I hope that doesn’t happen. I feel like I would have some inclination if something was wrong. I have are different symptoms than I had with the Zerker. I feel different. I am starting to come out of the fog of exhaustion. And my face is erupting like it never has before. I have never had a lot of breakouts. Now I am getting a new pimple a week. Ugh. I sort of feel my belly growing. My pants seem a little tighter. I haven’t had any spotting. I don’t know if that matters. You know, I don’t know what in the heck to expect. Please keep your fingers crossed.

Happy Halloween!

Posted in family, infertility